from a friend of our family, Jane Lecroy:
Balloons
“How many balloons are floating around lost in outer space?”
He asks me. In his four years he has let go of at least half a dozen,
The latex or Mylar, pulling tears from his eyes, as gravity is defied
Rise, rise, a helium trait; do we heal after loss or just change?
He keeps going back for more
No matter how many times the balloons disappoint him,
If they don’t escape and shrink into the distance or tangle in a tree
They sink, shrivel, or worse, POP, startle and terrify.
Balloons break hearts: Nena’s 99 Luftballoons 1984,
Think of the famous Red Balloon that befriended a little boy
How mean those kids were and how the Balloon saved him
An army of balloons carrying him over Paris, every kid’s dream.
We lost Barbapapa over the Cote d’Azur this summer,
It had cost 10 Euros and my son had left the window open
After removing one of the weights from the string to let Barbapapa
Float room to room through doors, instead of hugging the ceiling.
I’m sorry punished him cruelly but I had loved that balloon
We only had it only 3 days and I wanted it to last forever
After the apocalyptic aftermath of everyday
Something must float and we are drawn to those.
The planets around their stars, so much helium themselves-
Who says there are no balloons in outer space?
Images can’t be proved wrong, explanations fail us too
So I just tell him, “All the lost balloons are there, all of them.”
-Jane LeCroy
————————————————————————————————-
I’m a lost balloon & think of speech balloons & come here to float with me- word.
Thurs. 10/27/11 6pm-8pm
Jane LeCroy in unique situation-
Brant Lyon’s HYDROGEN JUKEBOX CD Release
Celebrate BRAIN AMPIN’ available now! Hear samples:
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/hydrogenjukeboxwiththene
( &write a review!)
@ Brant Lyon’s Hydrogen Jukebox
at Cornelia St. Café- 29 Cornelia St. Manhattan
($7 cover includes 1 free drink)
All performers are backed up by
the incredible improvisational abilities of The Ne’erdowells.
for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ozunD8PXWo
& featuring David Lawton, Jane LeCroy, Peter Carlaftes, Thomas Fucaloro, Karl Roulston, Puma Perl, Brant Lyon, Frank Simone, Robert Gibbons, Jane Ormerod, and Kat Georges
Please check out the Cornelia Street Cafe blog, which just went up. Nice write up by Jacques Swartz- leave a comment <3 http://corneliastreetcafe.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/hydrogen-jukebox-to-debut-first-record-with-neerdowells
My penis is too small,
there is a way to enlarge it
guaranteed,
a NICE LONG HARD ONE.
I can have a great job
in my own backyard,
working from home.
Spy on my loved ones,
with hidden cameras.
Find out EVERYTHING
about my loved ones.
The Genie Bra,
DOUBLE OFFER,
stop struggling,
with uncomfortable bras,
FOREVER.
Earn my degree,
pursue my dreams,
Devrie School.
Call now!
Benjamin Natanlame
has been named the
executor of my close friend’s estate
who has a million American dolars for me,
in a Nigerian bank,
before
the end of October.
Wishing blessings to me.
Contact the bank immediately
with the details,
in the attached
file.
Blessings to you Benjamin,
I forgive the intrusion,
and bras
and penises
and dreams.
Last night, it wasn’t what I saw, heard or directly felt, but I immersed in a vivid awareness of white light that beside me, and not beside me, a part of me, and not a part of me, making the idea of me at once meaningless, at once part of the existence of all.
The white light wasn’t white, as there is no white, it that is/was/will not be an it, is/was/will be a boundless energy without substance.
And I knew that everything comes from, has always come from and will always come from whatever this manifestation appeared to be, and now appears to me as a memory. This is no this, as it is not an is, and not a this, but words make me say this not this was/is/will be Ayin/Yesh all at the same time as there is no time.
I knew why in Exodus it says “There shall no man see me, and live,” as I knew that the force was G-d and if I was part of the force I would no longer be me, a kind of death, and that my identity would merge with the source of all things, that my identity is already merged with the source of all things, despite the apparency of separateness.
I decided to stay beside the force and not get swept into it, become lost and immersed and one with and in it that is not an it, as I am content, for now, being ‘me,’ but not afraid, indeed, comforted that one day my awareness will know that I have always been lost in it that is not an it and that always means nothing as time means nothing.
I was awake. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t dreaming.
After this that is/was not a this, I drifted to sleep and in the morning forgot and went to work worried as usual about things in this world and the ‘me’ that clothes me, for the time being.
Child walked to school, cats fed, dog walked, kiss wife goodbye.
Now the wind with cold gusts, that are not gusts and are not cold, against our windows that are not windows, during these wondrous Days of Awe.
Zach/not Zach
BY B (DAUGHTER)
I love hearts
It’s my beautiful day
Wandering around
Smelling flowers
Love in my heart
And you are too
If you hear the sweet sounds of the birds
You will hear me too
One, two, three
You know me and
I know you
Just listen.
No advice, no suggestions, no answers.
Just listen.
Listen so hard you start to sweat.
@Buddahbear01
I wrote to Amazon customer service to complain about the sweatshop conditions in their warehouse and got the following canned response:
At Amazon, the safety and well-being of our employees is our number one priority. We have several procedures in place to ensure the safety of our associates during the summer heat, including increased breaks, shortened shifts, constant reminders and help about hydration, and extra ice machines.
July 2011 was a highly unusual month and set records for the hottest temperatures during any single calendar month in cities across the East Coast. As a result of the abnormally high temperatures, we took many additional precautions to ensure the safety of our associates including closing our Breinigsville facility three times during the summer heat wave. We also supplemented our cooling systems by placing industrial AC units in all of our East Coast facilities, including Breinigsville. Also, in case associates needed any medical attention, we had our onsite healthcare team immediately available to attend to any needs. We are looking at additional measures we can take in the future, including permanent cooling solutions for our Breinigsville facility.
Thank you for your feedback. We hope to see you again soon.
Thank you for your recent inquiry. Did I solve your problem?
Cleaned out mom’s apartment yesterday.
Mom saved 90 years of EVERYTHING. We kept the stuff most precious to us, gave to charity other things and junked the rest. Easy to say “everything is impermanent,” than it is to throw out your mom’s stuff and really feel how impermanent things and people are.
When we were done there was an empty apartment, waiting for someone else to fill it with their own life story, their own things and their own junk.
Not easy at this time to end this note with a self-soothing platitude and say things like “I know mom is with us always.” I mainly feel now that she will never be with us, at least in this world, ever again.
Keep thinking of Dylan Thomas:
“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
Zach
Mom, her whole life, complained about being “freezing cold.” No matter how high the heat was turned up, no matter how many blankets she had on, mom was always complaining of being cold.
If mom was cold her whole life, right before she passed away in the hospital, mom was FREEZING COLD. Throughout her stay, we asked the nurses to get her blankets and they all got her one or two.
The night before mom died, we asked “V” (her real name), her nurse in the ICU, for blankets for our mother. I told V she could bring a million blankets and mom would still would be cold.
So V came into mom ICU room with a pile of probably 20 or more blankets. V gently laid the blankets on mom, and as she did, for the first time in years, a peaceful look came over mom’s frightened and pained face.
As I sat by mom’s bedside, I saw that even with 20 or more blankets, her shoulders were uncovered, so I tucked a few of the blankets in around her neck and as I did, Grandma started smiling.
After mom looked like a mummy tucked into all those blankets, looking like a swaddled newborn, mom smiled ear to ear and said one word, “Comfy.”
Finally, among all the things we tried to do for mom as she laid dying, I felt warmed by her finally feeling warm and a smile I will never forget. I finally felt like something that we did for her helped her pass on in peace.
My family will love “V” for all of eternity, for bringing more blankets than anyone would have ever expected.
Compassion overflowing is never forgotten.
- z
It is said that in difficult times it is only bodhichitta that heals. When inspiration has become hidden, when we feel ready to give up, this is the time when healing can be found in the tenderness of pain itself. Based on a deep fear of being hurt, we erect protective walls made out of strategies, opinions, prejudices, and emotions. Yet just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of the ways we try to protect ourselves from it.
Pema Chodron
