Celibacy means never having to say to another “I’m horny.” #buddhism #mindfulness #celibacy #sex #religion

Celibacy means never having to say to another “I’m horny.”  

Celibacy, therefore, serves as a means of certain avoidance of confronting the most powerful of constructive, and sometimes, among the most destructive basic human drives.   

Celibacy means never being rejected, never being unsatisfied, never being satisfied and never learning about the experience of romantic love, waking up the morning after and being left alone and lonely in bed.

Being horny while in walking meditation is different than.being horny while walking together in the garden.

Celibacy means locking up sexual karma in a closet to glow, fester or disappear, all on it’s own, without, learning, anything about such a significant aspect of human existence?

Why then, is celibacy, that is, education in becoming more ignorant of life, so much a part of so many institutionalized religions’ prerequisites for learning more about oneself and life?

buddahbear01

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2 responses to “Celibacy means never having to say to another “I’m horny.” #buddhism #mindfulness #celibacy #sex #religion

  1. I don’t know if I completely agree with some of your comments, being as I am in a state of perforced celibacy since I have been widowed (marriage and best-friendship of 35 years), and the only person I might be interested in (I am ridiculously picky) considers me quite *ridiculously unsuitable.

    I expect that you are referring to the willful, institutional choice of Celibacy. As a chosen religious lifestyle.

    In Buddhism, and in some religious traditions, there is situational celibacy which can change depending on circumstance.

    In Japan, for example, there are celibate monks and nuns of course, but interestingly, many smaller Zen and Jodo Temples are “kept in the family”, with the Roshi-ship (?) passing father to son.
    (I will be much more pleased it also happens to pass “father to daughter”, etc, but hasn’t happened yet, sadly.)
    There, the Abbots are almost always selected from the Monks and Celibate clergy, just as they are in Eastern Orthodox Christianity, say.

    Similarly, the Tibetan 2 day or longer retreats, where the participants take temporary celibate vows as a renunciate, of various duration, up to over 3 years, for example. Beyond that time the monk or nun can decide to continue in a celibate lifestyle, and often do so, or give back the vows then or later.

    So, if a person has the inclination, AND the *mentality necessary for intensive practice, they often will do so in a celibate framework. Most do not have the discipline to maintain this, of course, it should *not be a burden. Rather it should be a way of defining one’s choice of how, for a prolonged or shorter period of time, one will interact with secular society.
    There, the robe indicates the vows, and the society knows that they have limited their interactions and that they should respect that. And also so that society knows to chastise them if they are out of line.

    So, celibate lifestyles may be chose while the chooser is quite cognizant of the joys and sorrows of the non-celibate life.

    But Vows should never be taken if they will be a burden, and where there is a certainty of them being broken.
    For example, an active alcoholic should never take Lay or Monks Vows, they should only do so when they are dry and in control, and know that they can honor the Vow.

    I interpret the vow to avoid intoxicants rather broadly, so I avoid all entheogens and herbal intoxicants, uppers or downers. The lay vows were imbedded in one of my Wrathful ordinations, so I am fairly strict about these.

    A few years ago I commented to HH Rinpoche that I was rather taken with an amazing and awesome Dakini, hoping for the best, and he said,
    “Robert, why would you do that? You have been married, why would you want to go back into that suffering !!”

    Think about it.
    I have.

    • Robert
      As usual, i find what you write very informative and challenging. I can relate more to ‘temporary celibacy’ for a purpose, as I interpret what you write, as temporary withdrawal of an intoxicant. Although I also remember times after walking meditation where folks shared some of their frustration and fantasies that had occurred during the time preceding of walking meditation. The idea of ‘temporary celibacy,’ perhaps makes the most sense to me as a practice of ‘refraining,’ and experiencing the thoughts, feelings and storylines that consequently emerge in meditation while celibate, in the midst of ‘refraining.’ Training to refrain is a good thing, I think, not only in sexuality, but in anger and other non-constructive emotive states.

      Thanks for the thoughtful response.

      Best wishes and metta-stuff to you and yours.

      Zach

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